When I started all this a month ago, it was with a view to reducing the stashes of both fabric and yarn that have accumulated over the last ten years or so. Once I moved into the new sewing room and realized that, while I had lots of room for storage, I didn't even make a dent in the bins ( I kid you not) of fabric and yarn that are stored in the shed ( and inventoried, no less). A noble aim. And the fact that it would reign in the spending seemed like a good idea as well. The part that didn't occur to me until later is that it would force me to really look at myself. I'm a little slow sometimes.
I used to sew for myself a great deal, back in the days of toddlers who napped reliably. I made clothes that fit me well and made me happy. I haven't done much in the last couple of years though. I gained the ten pounds that I was always going to lose, then lost it courtesy of a couple of dieting binges (yes, it is possible to binge on dieting), only to gain it back again. The classic yo-yo dieter. So spending the amount of time that sewing requires on making something that wasn't going to fit me in a month when I lost the weight seemed silly. Only I never focused on losing the weight longer than a couple of days. So I bought all the fabric and yarn, made jokes about my theoretical wardrobe, then went shopping to buy some clothing that fit. When you are in a store you can blame the fact that something doesn't fit on the sizing of the store, not on your own shape. When you are standing in your bra and underwear with a tape measure in your hand, there isn't anything to hide behind. Literally. I'm not huge, by any means. But I am larger than the picture in my head. The picture in my head is from before my baby days (my babies are now in junior high) and needs some updating. But I don't want to update it. I want to be it again. But mindfully now. There are some things that I know about myself. I know that alcohol isn't good for me. But I love a drink on a Friday night. The problem is that it isn't usually one drink. It's usually half a bottle of wine on Friday, and half of another on Saturday. I know that my body is much happier when I don't eat sugar. But ...you see. It's the "but"s that are getting in the way of my butt. So here's what I realized. I am happier (Hah!) when I am exercising regularly (no great mystery there - endorphins anyone?) and I don't feel the need to eat/drink so much. The idea for now is to sew for myself the way that I am today, while maintaining some sense of happiness as well. Because the number on that tape measure, while it isn't a measure of how good a person I am, does affect me. So there.
This week I made two projects, both of which are atrociously photographed, but are symbolic of where my head is.
Project: Shirt of My Heart.
Pattern: Christine Jonson 723 Straight Shirt
Fabric: Sweatshirting fabric with a boucle knit face, as well as some woven cotton.
I started this shirt as a companion piece to a dress that was to be made as well, but this one ended up with a life all it's own. The fabric is fairly heavy, and the pattern calls for self-facings and a double-layer collar. That all would have been too bulky, so I used a woven cotton as a separate facing and the undercollar. That gave everything a little more stability as well. I grabbed a piece Jamaican print fabric that came from my Aunt Diana's house. And realized halfway through the construction of all of this that I was making something that looked like it had come out of my Aunt's or my Grandmother's closet. They are big on the overshirt. So the facing fabric came from Diana's and the buttons are all different vintage buttons from my button box, which has recently been enriched by other relatives. In light of my struggles with myself, this one feels just right. Like I am where I am supposed to be.
Project: Pants of...well..my pants.
Pattern:BWOF 11-2008-105b
This is the first pair of pants that I have made for myself in a couple of years, and they are okay. They have reminded me why I love and hate making pants for myself. Pants are fantastic when they actually fit, but they aren't something that you can just whip up in a couple of hours unless you have fitted them well already. So these ones are pretty good. They don't look like the picture in the magazine at all, but then I also don't look like the picture at all. They fit well at the waist, and they are long enough (with a 34" inseam, that can be a challenge). They have a nice detail down the side seam - a strip of the corduroy on the bias.
See? Nicely wrinkled pants with a detail down each side. This picture also highlights my main fitting challenge. See the upper leg? On the front, my quad muscle is big and strong, so I always need more fabric in the front, but my upper leg in the back scoops in substantially under my rather flat butt, leaving a lot of fabric hanging out in the back. The picture below says it all.
Handfulls of fabric under my bum. Combine that with the propensity for my pants to drift down from the waist over the course of the day, and I look like I'm wearing diapers by 5:00. So that's the goal for the next pair. Making something that fits my legs reasonably well.
There has been no completion of any knitting this week. In fact, I have been in a knitting funk (not to be confused with any funky knitting). I have an array of projects on the go - more than usual and that's saying something. But I seem to be having a hard time settling down to anything. We are heading to the lake later this week, which means 8 hours in the car each way. Some knitting must get done. Or Lindsay and I will fight all the way. The knitting on the car trips keeps my head down and keeps me from hammering my foot on the non-existent brake on my side of the car when Lindsay pulls out to pass someone. He's an excellent driver, he just has a better idea of when he can pass someone than I do. I tend to wait until there is no-one for miles before I pass (if he was driving behind me, I would be making him crazy), so there is lots of deep breathing for me when he is driving on the highway. The knitting keeps both of us calm. I just don't look.
I will post again before we go. Have a good couple of days.
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